Bystander Intervention

Bystander Intervention Risk Reduction Tips

Tips like these tend to make victims feel blamed if a sexual assault occurs. It is never the victim’s fault, and these tips are offered in the hope that recognizing patterns can help men and women to reduce the risk of victimization. Generally, an assault by a known offender will follow a four-step pattern:

1. An individual’s personal space is violated in some way. For example, the perpetrator may touch the victim in a way that does not feel comfortable.
2. If the victim does not express discomfort, the perpetrator may begin to view the victim as an easy target because she/he is not acting assertively
3. The perpetrator may take the victim to a location that is secluded and where the victim is vulnerable.
4. The victim feels trapped or unable to be assertive and is raped or assaulted.

Decisive action early in an encounter may be the key to avoiding rape. An individual who can combine assertiveness and self-defense skills, who is self-confident and definite in his/her interactions with others, is less likely to become a victim of rape. If the individual can assertively defend his/her rights initially, he/she has a better chance of avoiding being raped than does a person who resorts to techniques such as pleading or trying to talk the perpetrator out of it. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable sexual situation, these suggestions may help you to reduce your risk:

1. Make your limits known before things go too far
2. Give clear messages. Say “yes” when you mean yes and “no” when you mean no. Leave no room for misinterpretation. Tell a sexual aggressor “NO” clearly and loudly.
3. Try to extricate yourself from the physical presence of a sexual aggressor
4. Grab someone nearby and ask for help
5. Be responsible for your alcohol intake/drug use and realize that alcohol/drugs lower your sexual inhibitions and may make you more vulnerable to someone who views a drunk or high person as a sexual opportunity.
6. Watch out for your friends and ask that they watch out for you. A real friend will get in your face if you are about to make a mistake. Respect them if they do.
7. Be aware of any nonverbal messages you may be sending that conflict with what you are saying. Notice your tone of voice, body language, and eye contact
8. Be forceful and firm when necessary. Don’t be concerned with being polite. Your passivity may be interpreted as permission or approval for this behavior.
9. Do not acquiesce to something you do not want just to avoid unpleasantness. Do not allow politeness to trap you in a dangerous situation. This is not the time to be concerned about hurt feelings.
10. Trust your feelings or instincts. If a situation does not feel comfortable to you, or if you feel anxious about the way your date is acting, you need to respond. Leave immediately if necessary.

If you find yourself in the position of being the initiator of sexual behavior, you owe sexual respect to your potential partner. These suggestions may help you reduce your risk for being accused of sexual misconduct:

1. Do not make assumptions about:
   1. Consent;
   2. Someone’s sexual availability;
   3. Whether a person is attracted to you;
   4. How far you can go; or
   5. Whether a person is physically and mentally able to consent to you.
2. Clearly communicate your intentions to your sexual partner and give him/her a chance to clearly relate his/her intentions to you.
3. Mixed messages from your partner should be a clear indication that you should step back, defuse the sexual tension, and communicate better. Perhaps you are misreading your partner. Perhaps your partner has not figured out how far he/she wants to go with you yet. You need to respect the timeline with which your partner is comfortable.
4. Do not take advantage of someone’s drunkenness or drugged state, even if he/she did it to him/herself.
5. Realize that your potential partner could be intimidated by you, or fearful. You may have a power advantage simply because of your gender or size. Do not abuse that power.
6. Understand that consent to some forms of sexual behavior does not necessarily imply consent to other forms of sexual behavior. On this campus, silence and passivity cannot be interpreted as an indication of consent. Read your potential partner carefully, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal communication and body language.
7. Do not force someone to have sex with you, or have sex with a partner who has not clearly consented to you by words or actions unmistakable in their meaning.